The House on the Rock

Do you know about The House on the Rock? A structural feat of engineering. A '60s party haven. A bizarre maze of sights and sounds.

I visited The House on the Rock for the first time recently. It was amazing to see... everything on the property. But, it got me thinking. There's so much contained in one "home" (I use that sparingly, as most of the items are now housed in separate buildings). How could one person have so much? Is this a collector's dream? A person with hoarding behavior? Something in between?

By definition, a collection is the act or process of collecting; a group of objects or works to be seen studied or kept together.

By definition, a hoard is a supply or store of something held or hidden for future use; a collection or supply, as of memories or information, that one keeps to oneself for future use. 

So, by definition a collection is a hoard. Interesting. But, I think there's more to it than that. If Alex Jordan, who built The House on the Rock, didn't open his home to the public, earning admission tickets along the way, he wouldn't have the fortune to continue to build on his property, to buy and make more things to store in more buildings. He needed the money. He already had the space. Surely, if he kept amassing the dolls, model ships, Asian artifacts and instruments, but stuffed them into bins and shacks in the yard, he would have been named a hoarder. So, do resources like space and money solely create a collection? Not exactly.

Why did Alex Jordan keep creating, keep finding and buying more? Was it because he had already built this business for Midwestern lookie-loos who would only come back if there was something new to see? Or, was it because he wanted more? Because he couldn't stop?

A lot to think about. There may be a fine line between collecting and hoarding behavior. Is The House on the Rock a collection to view, like a museum? Or, is The House on the Rock one man's hoarded clutter, put on display? The best way to find out is to see it for yourself. There's really nothing else like it.

A Case of the "Maybe Someday"

We've all thought it at some point - "What if I need this again someday?" Sometimes, that's the whole reason I end up working in a home. Everything has some kind of use left in it still, and what if that use becomes relevant again - someday?

If we are constantly looking for use in items, we're never going to get rid of anything, myself included. What we should be considering is if the item has use to us. A great example are craft supplies.

If I'm an artsy, crafty person, I can likely imagine some wonderful use for scraps of fabric, yarn, paint, Styrofoam, you name it. But, honestly, I haven't made any art in about ten years. I'd love to make crafts again, but there are other, more important things on my plate now. Realistically, it will be years again before I can even consider dedicating time to creating again. What to do with this closet filled with supplies?

The question here is not, "Do these items still have use and worth?" but rather "Will I use these items?" Is it worth the space they take to store? Does it motivate me to have these items around? Or, does it feel like a constant reminder of a life I used to have, that no longer fits my lifestyle?

It's helpful to remind ourselves that there are always other ways to find an item again. Maybe I no longer eat a carb-heavy diet, so I haven't used my waffle-iron in years. But, what if I want to have waffles again someday? Maybe I can borrow one. Maybe I can find a cheap one at a resale shop. Maybe I would rather go to a restaurant or buy frozen waffles.

With places like the library, neighborhood share groups, tool libraries and other community groups (inline and in real life), there are a ton of ways to temporarily use an item you would only need once.

So, I think it's more important to clear out this closet of craft supplies and donate it in order to store everything in this dining room in the newly emptied closet. I'd rather use my dining room regularly than store a closet of items I don't think I'll use.

We can't always count on someday. Take advantage of today.

Let's Reflect on the Year

I want to hear from you! What did you tackle this year that has made a huge difference? Maybe you moved and managed to unpack all your boxes and get organizing in your new home. Maybe you mastered your schedule and haven't been late to a meeting in months! Maybe you finally started the process to go digital and get rid of that filing cabinet.

What have I done that's made a difference for me organizationally?

- I moved, and did unpack all my boxes!

- I got rid of my wall calendar this year, and even though I still glance at the wall sometimes, I have everything I need in one calendar.

- I went through all my childhood memories. School papers, toys, you name it. It's neatly sorted and packed such that I can grab something if I want to take it out.

- I finally started writing down business processes, so someone else can do some of it!

When an Organizer Isn't Enough

I work with a lot of different people, who all have different belongings in different spaces. Our needs are all different. Our reasons for getting organized are often varied, too.

I find that people I work with are sometimes worried that I'll show up carrying banners, shouting, "I'm going to help them organize now!" It's much less eventful. Even so, I realize that working with an organizer can be a very private matter. Maybe I'm coming in to help after a death or before a divorce. Maybe I'm coming in to help someone with chronic disorganization or depression. There are so many reasons to want more organization in your life; sometimes we have more than one reason, too.

All the same, I'm not a therapist. I listen to the stories you want to share, the explanations of how your space became the way it is, the desires for your new space. These are all important to the process of organizing. However, my skill set ends there. I don't have the tools or language to tell you how to handle a death or divorce any more than the next person. And, I recognize that if you're hesitant to have others find out you're working with an organizer, you may be hesitant to seek other help, as well.

Turns out, there are a ton of resources available now to help you move through that feeling of hesitation or embarrassment. Companies exist completely online to help with counseling. For example, TalkSpace has options for writing back and forth with a personal therapist, or setting up time to chat regularly. You can do it from home, the office, the bus, where ever. No one will see you walking into a particular office, and no one will care if you're in pajamas.

Of course, of course, if you need some guidance and counseling, you should seek a professional who can help plan your next steps with you - in person in an office, or otherwise. Just like working with an organizer, find a good fit for the issue at hand.

It doesn't really matter how you got here; it matters what you're doing about it now.

Some Ideas on Printing and Storing Digital Photos

Ideas!

You can print digital photos to give them as gifts or to give to someone who maybe doesn't have easy access to technology.

If you would like to print standard sized photos (4x6 or 3x5), you can do so in your home on a regular printer. All you need is to buy some photo paper and you're good to go! If you would like to have certain photos displayed in your home, you can have those printed professionally at a photo printing service if you don't own a photo printer.

One way to organize photos digitally is to create albums on your computer. You can label those albums by date and/or by event so that you know when and what they are when looking back. You can also use a scanner to put already printed photos onto your computer, and then add those into their respective digital albums.

Sometimes you don't want to print certain photos; maybe they spark a certain memory or a time in life that is hard to look back on. That's okay. You are free to toss those or put them in a designated spot that isn't as easy to find if you'd like. I'm giving you permission to get rid of them!

Good luck!

Excuses

There are more things to capture your attention now than ever before. With the world at our fingertips on our phones, our computers and our TVs, it's a wonder we ever leave the house. Families are busier than ever with dozens and dozens of after school activities, social groups and more. How are we to make sure we actually work on our projects when we say we are?

First, keep distractions at bay as best you can. Silence the TV, your phone, the kids, your roommate. Make sure those around you know not to disturb your for a certain amount of time.

Next, make sure you stay on task. It's so easy to walk to the coat closet to hang up a jacket, and end up cleaning out that closet, when you were really hoping to clear off the kitchen table. Stay in the area you've told yourself you're going to work on today.

We all tell ourselves excuses. I've done it, too! No more excuses! 

No more "I'll just check my email first." 

No more "I'll have more time tomorrow." 

No more "I'll get more done if I take a quick nap or walk first." 

No more "It's too hard."

No more "I'll start the laundry first."

No more "I have to help others first."

You decided to tackle this project. You are completely capable of doing it. No more excuses!

Empathy

Empathy is "the ability to understand and share the feelings of another (according to Google)." How is it that a certified organizer, who has never been inundated with stuff of her own or felt so overwhelmed by her things, can help those who do?

In order to best help my clients, I have to understand not only how they want to use their items and space, but how they currently use their items and space. We can't create systems and spaces that work if I don't understand why the items ended up where they are in the first place. Some of this has developed over time, with experience. Some of it I've learned from training and coursework. The important thing to know is that:

I understand that you're overwhelmed by the space and stuff.

I understand that you might be embarrassed to show me that space.

I know that you feel vulnerable.

I'm here to encourage you to make the best decisions you can to create the space you want. And, deserve.

Even if I haven't felt the same way you do right now, doesn't mean I don't appreciate those feelings.

Isn't That Distracting?

Everything can be a distraction if we let it. And, when it comes to organizing, boy do we let it!

There are three big distractions that keep us from finishing our organizing projects. Here they are, and here we can figure out how to get around them:

1) Walking out of the room. Whenever I'm working with a client and we come across something that belongs in a different room, we set it in the doorway of whatever room in which we're working. Say we walk out of the room to hang up the coat that was on the dining room chair. Well, naturally, we start to pull out the toys on the floor of the coat closet and put those away in the kid's room. Once we're up there, we start to fold the laundry. And it goes on and on. But, if we concentrate on just our area, and leave those deliveries for last,
we stay on task. The project we started working on gets finished more quickly and deliveries around the house don't take away whatever time we've already set aside. If you have someone eager to help with your project, have them play delivery person whenever you come across an item to go elsewhere.

2) Listening to something else. TV, radio, someone else in the house. It doesn't really matter what it is that has caught your ear if it makes you stop what you're doing. If you know you can't concentrate with background noise, turn off the TV, the radio, your phone, all the things that make some kind of noise. It's only temporary while the project's in full swing. Likewise, if someone else is in your space (spouse, kid, roommate, co-worker), let them know that you can't be bothered for "X" minutes. After that, you're all ears!

3) Someone making you stop. This is similar to the previous distraction, but can also include more. An appointment arises in the middle of your project. A neighbor stops by unexpectedly. The dog throws up. Who knows what it might be, but it's made you come to a complete halt. We can prevent some of this by paying attention to our calendars and marking down anything pertinent. Other than that, do your best to stay on task and explain, politely, that you're in the middle of a project and would love to set aside time later to catch up.

Now you can stick with it!

Create an Oasis

The winter seems to be lingering. Everyone you know seems to be going to faraway places with fresh air and sunshine. Maybe you yourself were lucky enough to take a trip over this winter, but now you’re longing for it again.

Everyone has been cooped up in the house so it’s time to bring some of that sunshine inside. Create an oasis in your home for relaxation. Bedrooms should be void of any projects; if you want to be able to relax in your room then there shouldn’t be too much stimulation in it. If there is another room you want to make relaxing, then take out technology. TVs are too tempting for catching up on the latest episodes, and it’s easy to get lost on the web with your phone or computer. Make a “phone free” zone to rest your eyes, mind, and body.

Keeping True to Your Resolutions

We’re already a month into the new year! This is usually about the time that people discontinue the good habits they made a resolution to keep. If you already quit or are slugging behind, take a deep breath. Don’t wait for another year to go by to make the resolution again!

Get back on the horse, and make time for your resolutions today. People always say that there is not enough time in the day. Is it that, or is the time you do have not managed well enough? Was your resolution to broad or overwhelming? Look at the real reasons why you’re not sticking to your resolutions, then take action.

Find some inspiration by going on Pinterest (but not for too long!), then get to work! If your resolution was eating healthier, look up some recipes, and go to the grocery store to stock up on healthy ingredients. Or, maybe your resolution was to get organized. Check out my other blogs to find inspiration on different areas in your life you can better organized.

Doing Things On Purpose

A key aspect to staying organized is remembering what you’re doing. Really try to focus your thoughts on what you’re doing at the moment. We all have a million things running through our heads that we have to remember to do; even running out the door, it seems, there’s always at least 10 things you have to make sure to do before you leave.

Keep a notepad near you to write things down that are going through your head. Don’t use your phone to take notes because some kind of notification will probably distract you. (I’m looking at you, Facebook!)

Pay attention to where you put things. We’re all guilty of this. There’s nothing like looking for your phone that’s in your hand or your glasses that are on top of your head.

Don’t self-sabotage because you’re rushing. Being mindful of what you’re doing and where you put things will prevent that panicky feeling of forgetting something or feeling crunched for time.

Organizing Resolutions

For this New Years, make good on your resolutions. Getting organized is the second most popular resolution (StatisticBrain.com). If it made it on your list this year, here are some tips for starting out and keeping it going:

1.    Write things down on the calendar. If you’re using a calendar in your phone or a hard copy planner or even both, write things down as soon as you make plans. Don’t only write down meetings and appointments, but things like what you’d like to make for dinner that night, people to call, and chores to complete. You’ll be able to look back to see what you did when, if you ever need to. It also helps you remember what your goals for the day/week/month are while keeping you accountable.

2.    Designate certain chores to certain days. This will make your schedule smoother and chores won’t fall behind. If you dust every Wednesday, then you will be able to keep up with it. Make your own schedule, though, so it works best for you and your lifestyle.

Corralling Your Memories

The thing that makes stuff more than… stuff is the sentimental value that’s attached to it. Material possessions are a reminder of a different time that has come to pass; it’s physical evidence of your beautiful memories. But, you can still have those memories without the burden of all those things.

Collect all the things that are memorable: cards, pictures, movie tickets, concert tickets, jewelry... anything else. Pick a box or bin with a lid to store everything in to give yourself a physical limit. Whatever you can fit inside that box is what you’ll keep. Otherwise, you can toss or donate anything else. If there is still something you want to remember, take a picture of it so you can still have that memory without the clutter.

Minimalism: A Documentary About the Important Things

Many of you may know The Minimalists; they blog, they speak, they write. Mostly, about making a simpler life for themselves and others. Something I strive to help my clients do on a daily basis. Recently, you may have heard about the documentary they helped make, Minimalism: A Documentary About the Important Things. I had the opportunity to see a screening of the film a couple weeks ago, where the Minimalists spoke and introduced the film. I came away with two major thoughts:

We're doing it all wrong. Well, most of us, at least. The examples of consumerism and the bigger-is-better attitude that many Americans espouse are pretty nauseating when shown in the film. I'm certainly not saying we shouldn't be buying things or creating new items to market or anything like that. What I took away from the film was how much we've managed to let it rule our lives and equivocate it with our self worth. Our families' self worth. Our status is our stuff. And, as shown in the movie, it's leading to a worn out planet, a worn out people and a whole lot of waste.

Some of us are trying to get it right. The documentary explores multiple ways how creating a life of less stuff allows those who were showcased on screen to have more purpose to their life. They all shared a sense of deliberateness in their daily lives, a stronger sense of community and much more appreciation for the things they do own. I hope that the work I do helps those I work with to create a better sense of what they want in their space, and in their lives. Getting rid of all the excess gives us more time to enjoy relationships and experiences. Certainly stuff is a part of that, but it doesn't need to be the focus of it. We don't have to strive for a higher salary, a bigger house, just to get more and more. We can strive to own things we love and use, a space that fits our lifestyle appropriately and a life fulfilled.

Thinking Ahead

It's probably human nature that many of us don't think we need help with something until we've reached a breaking point. Other people will ask for help immediately. I'm speaking to those of you that believe you can and will tackle that giant project that's been sitting there staring at you for months. Maybe even years.

It's around this time of year that I receive lots of inquiries from folks looking for help today. Tomorrow. As soon as I can get there. And, unfortunately, I can only be in so many places at once. Certainly, my team helps fill in the gaps. But, it's frustrating for you and for me when you want help now, and I can't get you on the schedule as soon as you'd like.

So, I urge those of you who keep thinking you'll have time to look through that mountain of stuff tomorrow night - when you're sure you'll finally have time - to ask yourself these questions:

1) How much time do I realistically have to devote to this project?

2) How much energy do I realistically have to devote to this project?

3) Do I even want to try it on my own, or would another set of hands and eyes be really helpful?

4) How long has it already been waiting for me, and I haven't touched it?

5) Would my life be better if this wasn't staring me in the face anymore?

Think about all these answers. Be realistic with yourself. Get some information about what could help you move in the right direction. Baby steps in the right direction are still steps in the right direction.

Moving Around Can Make All the Difference

Sometimes we forget what's right in front of us...like adjustable shelves. It's important not to feel stuck with whatever system is currently in place. Although it may not be feasible to completely overhaul the system, it might be entirely reasonable to shift some things up and down. For example, this master closet. All that was needed was to shift the heights of shelves and drawers. Then, all the belongings had plenty of room to breath!

Accumulation

The other night, I was reading the April 2016 issue of Real Simple Magazine. In each issue, the magazine asks readers to send in comments on a particular topic or answer a specific question. They publish the interesting or poignant answers, and pick one to feature as the 'Subscriber of the Month.' This particular person's answer also showcases a small interview. The other night, I read this:

"What advice do you live by? Live life - don't spend it accumulating things. It's the memories of adventures that will bring you joy. Over the years, we have often laughed and smiled at memories of past experiences. I rarely remember all the stuff we have had and discarded."

The Subscriber of the Month, Joby Dupus, makes an incredibly important point. All too often my clients are struggling with an item. "So-and-so gave this to me. I don't want to hurt their feelings by getting rid of it." Or, "This is from an event I went to. Shouldn't I keep it?" If it's an item that my client wouldn't even consider keeping if it wasn't from this particular person or occasion, I ask one simple question:

Will you remember that person or event even if you don't have that item?

The answer is always yes. Never once has someone told me they would forget a person or event by donating or tossing out an item they don't love or use. Never once.

Take this idea, and run with it. Let go of items that are reminding you of memories you'd like to forget. Remember people, places and events with sparse souvenirs and specific collections. Be confident in your own mind. Be confident that allowing open space in your home will allow for more adventures in your life.

On Giving

It's the time of year when there's suddenly an influx of just about everything into your home and office. Cookies, candy, trinkets, decorations, clothes, toys, the list goes on. For many of us, it's added on top of the piles of stuff that we already don't know what to do with or don't have a place to store.

The best way I can suggest to tackle this space issue is to give. Give away and gift all that you no longer want or use. I'll go back to the essential three questions I always ask:
- Do you need it?
- Do you use it?
- Do you love it?/Does it enhance your life?

If an item hasn't passed all three of these questions, it's time to let it go.

During the holidays, we are also reminded of those who have less than we do. It's the perfect time to give what we no longer want to those who are in need. Here are some great resources to get you started on your way to a more organized home and knowing your items are now being used by someone who loves them!

- La Casa Norte: Serving youth and families confronting homelessness

- Cornerstone Community Outreach: Finding shelter and homes for those at the most risk of being excluded from necessary services

- The Epilepsy Foundation: Offering counsel, advocacy and education for those with epilepsy and their families

- Howard Brown: Eliminating the disparities in health services for the LGBTQ community

- Open Books: Providing literacy experiences for thousands of readers

To find a resource near you, you can also visit Donation Town.

5 Ways to Get it Done Now!

Bored? Procrastinating? Other things to do? We all have those excuses and reasons to not do something we should do. Here are five ideas to help get you on track:

1) Set a timer. For 15 or 20 minutes to start. Get as much done as you can before the timer dings. If you still have some gusto left, set it again. Do this daily until the project is complete.

2) Alternate with something more fun. Complete part A of the task, then read a chapter. Finish part B of the project, then watch a TV show. Finish the third part, then paint your nails.

3) Have someone help. Tell your friend/relative/neighbor/professional organizer that for the next 'x' minutes, you are to work on this task. Together. Then, you can make plans for whatever else you like to do together. The other person is there to help support you through the project - without judging - and keep you on task. You can also try delegating parts of the project to your helper.

4) Get rid of distractions. Shut the door. Silence the phone. Turn off the TV and radio. Concentrate.

5) Have a reward at the end. Ice cream. A movie. A dance party in your office. Anything your more-organized heart desires!

Keeping Memories

Much of what I come across when working with clients is a memory. A report card, a piece of artwork, a gift, a prom dress, Mom's old cookbook. It comes in a variety of forms. It comes with a variety of feelings.

There are also memories associated with loss. Pictures from a wedding of a couple that is now divorced. Toys from a child who has passed away. Correspondence from a roommate that left on unhappy terms. Work from a job you were fired from.

Stacking memories into boxes and bins seems to be a very human thing to do. We want the memories. We want to remember who we are, who we were and where we came from. And, that makes sense. And, though I don't necessarily think we should try to edit or alter those things, we can also make the process easier on ourselves.

Why keep a gift from an aunt who was always mean to you? Why keep photos of a past partner that was less than nice? Why keep things that when we see them, make us feel sad or angry? We shouldn't.

Keep the memories that remind you of people and places that make you feel happy. Circumstances that make you laugh. Photos that make you feel good about who you are and where you come from.

Deep breath. Let that item go. Some of those memories can even be donated. Maybe the music box from your crazy ex-boyfriend will be just what someone was looking for. It can make them smile instead of making you frown.