Empathy

Empathy is "the ability to understand and share the feelings of another (according to Google)." How is it that a certified organizer, who has never been inundated with stuff of her own or felt so overwhelmed by her things, can help those who do?

In order to best help my clients, I have to understand not only how they want to use their items and space, but how they currently use their items and space. We can't create systems and spaces that work if I don't understand why the items ended up where they are in the first place. Some of this has developed over time, with experience. Some of it I've learned from training and coursework. The important thing to know is that:

I understand that you're overwhelmed by the space and stuff.

I understand that you might be embarrassed to show me that space.

I know that you feel vulnerable.

I'm here to encourage you to make the best decisions you can to create the space you want. And, deserve.

Even if I haven't felt the same way you do right now, doesn't mean I don't appreciate those feelings.

Finding It... Fast!

Eventually, most of us find the things we're looking for. Occasionally, we don't. Somehow it fell out of our pocket or was accidentally thrown away. It's frustrating, to say the least. Of course, we want to find our things. But, why is it important that we find them quickly?

It gets us out the door.

It allows us to continue our train of thought.

It keeps us from getting distracted (now we have to look for the thing!).

It prevents us from spending money to buy it all over again.

It keeps us calm.

It means we know where are things are, and we don't have to feel like our space is in charge.


Isn't That Distracting?

Everything can be a distraction if we let it. And, when it comes to organizing, boy do we let it!

There are three big distractions that keep us from finishing our organizing projects. Here they are, and here we can figure out how to get around them:

1) Walking out of the room. Whenever I'm working with a client and we come across something that belongs in a different room, we set it in the doorway of whatever room in which we're working. Say we walk out of the room to hang up the coat that was on the dining room chair. Well, naturally, we start to pull out the toys on the floor of the coat closet and put those away in the kid's room. Once we're up there, we start to fold the laundry. And it goes on and on. But, if we concentrate on just our area, and leave those deliveries for last,
we stay on task. The project we started working on gets finished more quickly and deliveries around the house don't take away whatever time we've already set aside. If you have someone eager to help with your project, have them play delivery person whenever you come across an item to go elsewhere.

2) Listening to something else. TV, radio, someone else in the house. It doesn't really matter what it is that has caught your ear if it makes you stop what you're doing. If you know you can't concentrate with background noise, turn off the TV, the radio, your phone, all the things that make some kind of noise. It's only temporary while the project's in full swing. Likewise, if someone else is in your space (spouse, kid, roommate, co-worker), let them know that you can't be bothered for "X" minutes. After that, you're all ears!

3) Someone making you stop. This is similar to the previous distraction, but can also include more. An appointment arises in the middle of your project. A neighbor stops by unexpectedly. The dog throws up. Who knows what it might be, but it's made you come to a complete halt. We can prevent some of this by paying attention to our calendars and marking down anything pertinent. Other than that, do your best to stay on task and explain, politely, that you're in the middle of a project and would love to set aside time later to catch up.

Now you can stick with it!

Leaving Behind a Houseful of Stuff

I recently took a course on the many steps involved in clearing out the home of a recently deceased person. There are so many things to consider. And, having also recently helped to clear a home of a hoarder who recently passed, I want to share some of those things.

First, know what you're looking for. Everyone has important things and papers in their space. But, not everyone keeps them in an organized manner. Keep your eyes open for birth certificates, deeds to property, passports, account numbers and the like. These documents will be necessary for the estate executor to carry out their duties. Important finds also include credit cards and keys (to the house, the car, the lock box...).

Second, know what everyone else is looking for. Are there family members or friends that are entitled to a particular item? Has the deceased person bequeathed certain items as a part of their will? If there are a lot of items and/or lots of people who will be claiming the items, consider having a box with each person's name on it. Place items in as they're found, and scratch it off your list.

Third, know when to call in another expert. If you come across items that appear to be rare or of particular value, call in an expert. Antique dealers, jewelry appraisers and even local historians can be of help. Sometimes, we find items that are so old or rare that we don't even know what they are. Online research can at least provide a starting point.

And lastly, know when you're done. If everyone has found the items they were intending to claim, and all sale-worthy items have been sold, it's likely time to start bagging up donations. Donate anything else left in the home that can still be used by someone else. Consider finding a charity with which the deceased was a part or supported, if possible. It can often make the process a little easier knowing that someone else can find use and joy from the items that remain.

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